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Wednesday, January 11, 2012

A softer, more gentle kind of rap beef...

After a nearly-year-long hiatus, we decided it was about time to hit you once again with some of that smart, stinging, sarcastic hip-hop commentary that all six of our readers love so much (we might even give you our last three picks from that Top 10 Best Hip-Hop Albums EVER MADE list if you’re lucky). However, we felt the need to come back with something strong, and the shocking news of Snoop Dogg being arrested for marijuana possession or the sun rising this morning just didn’t seem sufficient. Lucky for us, a lyrical double goose down pillow fight erupted between Common and Drake. Let’s get to it.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Ashley Judd is a...

Ashley Judd just released a new book. Who cares, right? Well, in that book, she condemned the YouthAIDS organization for including Hip-Hop performers such as Snoop Dogg and Diddy in their AIDS fundraising and awareness campaigns, calling Hip-Hop “rape culture” and “the contemporary soundtrack of misogyny,” and stating her belief that the “social construction of gender… is the root cause of poverty and suffering around the world.” Because this is a Hip-Hop blog, we will forgo our much bigger point of contention that the cultural classifications of gender, while undeniably a huge problem, is a distant second to that of race with respect to poverty and suffering in the world. Instead, we will focus on the seemingly endless scapegoating of Hip-Hop music in the fight for gender equality.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

An Open Letter to Lupe Fiasco...

Dear Lupe,

How are you? How’s your deen? How’s your pet robot? Does it still have an outbreak of hoes on its toes? Gross.

So, your new album, Lasers, sold over 200,000 units in its first week of release (those are Nikki Minaj numbers!), debuted at the number 1 spot on the US Billboard 200 chart, and has held down the number 1 spot on the Rap Album chart for 3 weeks now. The single, “Show Goes On” has been certified Gold and is currently at number 9 on the Billboard Rap chart and climbing. These are huge numbers for you, record-breaking numbers in most cases, and while we are happy for you, we just wanted to make sure that you don’t make the mistake of believing that the album’s performance means that it is actually good. It’s not.

Monday, January 24, 2011

Kanye's new album this summer, Detox in 2002...

On Sunday, in between his usual ridiculous tweets thanking Julius Caesar for his haircut, explaining why he wouldn’t be successful doing stand-up comedy, and commenting on the Bears and Packers game, Kanye West casually made some exciting (possibly alcohol induced) announcements regarding his multiple upcoming releases. Apparently, a video for “All of the Lights” will drop in a week, Watch the Throne, his collaborative album with Jay-Z, will drop in 2 months, and, most surprisingly of all, an entirely new Yeezy solo album will be dropping this summer. We know ‘Ye is a machine when he gets into work mode, but this seems a bit overzealous. We will, therefore, believe it when we see it.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Gucci Mane's stupid face

Gucci Mane just got out of jail, and he is in no hurry to go back. So when he was arrested in November for driving the same way he raps (terribly), he knew he needed to do something bold to avoid more prison time. After watching half of a Law & Order rerun, he decided a plea of insanity would be his best hope and Gucci promptly started getting his crazy on! He checked himself into a mental health facility and entered a plea of incompetency but his legal team warned him that it may not be enough and that Gucci should build up a stronger crazy case before his hearing later this month. So Gucci, being the ingenious individual that he is, decided to go get a huge ice cream cone tattooed on his face (which was his second choice, but this was already taken). Gucci is no fool, though. He saw Game get a similarly ridiculous butterfly tattoo on his face only to receive so much ridicule that he eventually had it covered up by an “LA” and then a star tattoo. Therefore, Gucci decided to make the ice cream cone tougher looking by having lightning bolts shoot out of it.

Sidebar: does anyone else think of Tyrone Biggums when they look at Gucci Mane’s lips?

Monday, December 6, 2010

A new definition of "reunion"

After more than 10 long years, the prayers of rap fans every have finally been answered. We are not talking about the release of a new Fugees album or even Detox. We are speaking, of course, of the long-awaited Harlem World reunion. Since Ma$e presented The Movement in 1999, listeners have been aching for more music from the group (everyone forgot about their appearance on “From Scratch” from Ma$e’s second album, Double Up, almost as quickly as they forgot Ma$e had a second album). Thankfully, the time has come, and Ma$e, Loon, Blinky Blink, Baby Stace, Huddy Combs, Cardan, and Meeno are coming together once again, but there is a catch: Ma$e, Loon, Blinky Blink, Baby Stace, and Huddy Combs will be not be participating in any way. In other news, Marlon Jackson had a Jackson 5 reunion in the shower this morning.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

BTDubb: Kanye may or may not be self-absorbed...

Just in case those who subscribe to the "Kanye West is a self-centered douche bag" school of thought were running low on fuel for their hate, Kanye has taken it upon himself to refill their tanks once again.

Today is World AIDS Day, and in observance, several big-time celebrities including Lady Gaga, Kim Kardashian, and Justin Timberlake and even some shitty ones have "sacrificed their digital life" to raise money to fight AIDS, vowing not to post any new tweets until $1 million has been raised for Alicia Keys' AIDS charity. Coincidentally, today is also the day that Kanye West, after over two tweetless weeks (except for a couple on Thanksgiving), decided to START tweeting again. Its probably just a coincidence, though.

Suuuure, it's the labels fault you suck...

While it has been well established by industry rule number 4,080 that record company people are, in fact, shady, that doesn’t mean they are to blame for everything. Let's face it, a record company's top priority is to make money, and they base most of the decisions they make upon that fact. So while artists may have a legitimate beef with their label for giving them pennies on the dollar for sales, or for withholding publishing rights, or for countless other money-grabbing tactics, it is pretty bold to claim that a major record company is responsible for actually preventing sales. If there is some money to be made, why wouldn't they try to make it? Former pop sensation Nelly, however, is certain that the greedy folks at his record label (Universal Motown) are simply not interested in making money from his latest release, 5.0.

Wednesday, November 17, 2010

The 4th Best Hip-Hop Album EVER MADE

In our last installment, Ethan paid tribute to OutKast's out-of-this-world third album while Scott sang the praises of 50 Cent's commercial rap masterpiece. Here, we each share our picks for the 4th best hip-hop album ever made.

Poor Game... you gonna get drunk and cry in a song about it?

Game's history of popping off and recanting is well documented. He has taken shots, subliminal and not-so-subliminal, at Jay-Z, who apparently couldn’t care less (“is there an ant biting the shoestrings of my S Dots?”), and Game then took them back. He beefed with Suge Knight briefly, and then deaded it (probably due to his crippling fear of being dangled over balconies). He went at Joe Budden, who did respond pretty harshly, and Game then appeared on Joe’s next album. He even went on Change of Heart and badmouthed his girlfriend the entire episode, then wanted to stay together in the end (she didn't). Game is not even too proud to beg for forgiveness when he really didn’t do anything to wrong that person, demonstrated by the title track from Doctor’s Advocate. Well, someone better remove the Belvedere and Banana Snapple from his hand and call Busta Rhymes to interpret Game’s unintelligible sobbing, because this man is down on his knees yet again pleading to be taken back.